Never Enough

"Everything always gets over and nothing is ever enough."

-From the Mixed up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler

I read this book with some students about a month ago and came across this quote and it struck me.

If I had to use one sentence to sum up how I feel right now, it would be this quote. 

Everything always gets over and nothing is ever enough. 

I am in a phase of life where it feels like everything is ending. I finish student teaching on Friday (my last LDOC), graduate on May 12, move out of my Chapel Hill apartment soon after that, and move to India on May 24. 

Everything always gets over and nothing is ever enough. 

4 years at UNC seems like a long time. It certainly seemed like it was going to be very long when I moved into that first dorm room, went to that first class, wrote that first paper. It felt like those 4 years would never end, that they would stretch on and on. That it would be forever before I would be able to go to India. 

Then I closed my eyes and now I'm here. Less than 3 weeks away from graduation. 1 month away from my first extended time in India. 

Where did these 4 years go? When did they fly by?

Freshman year, I was itching to graduate. I was ready to go. I hated the thought of being in Chapel Hill for 4 years. 

Now I'm dragging my feet. I can't believe that it is time to go already. I can't believe that it is time to leave the safe bubble of Chapel Hill, leave my friends, my family, my church, and go to the other side of the world. 

Everything always gets over and nothing is ever enough. 

I am excited to go to India. I am excited to start this new chapter of my life. I am excited to see where my friends are going and everything that God has planned for them. 

But I am not excited to leave. 

If I could live in India and Chapel Hill at the same, oh my goodness, I would! If we could all do our awesome things, while still being all together, oh that would be perfect! 

Unfortunately, that is not how it works. Everything has to come to an end. For the next part of my life to begin, this part has to end. And it is sad, it is hard. I don't want to leave. 

Everything always gets over and nothing is ever enough. 

On a completely different note- when I first read this quote, I'll admit, my first thought was about Harry Potter. It all had to end but wouldn't we just love one, two, or ten more books?

Rapunzel- A princess I can love

I would not consider myself a feminist and I don't think that Disney movies are inherently evil and teaching our daughters terrible things.

But after reading a couple of books and having a number of discussions along those lines, some of the arguments against Disney really start to make sense.

As much as I LOVE the Little Mermaid, she sells her voice for a boy. I'm not sure how I feel about that...*

All that to say, tonight I watched Tangled with a friend (not for the first time, just for funsies) and I couldn't help but analyze it for the underlying messages it sends our young girls (I didn't do it on purpose, but sometimes I just can't turn off the UNC mind).

Let me tell you, I love Rapunzel.

I think that she is an awesome princess. She's beautiful, sweet, and totally kicks butt and takes names.

She's the kind of princess I would want a young girl to admire.

She is the balance of innocent and naive, but sassy and observant. She figures out what is going on pretty quickly and stands up for herself. This blonde has some fiest to her.

I love fiest.

And the best thing is, both she and Flynn are great. It seems in these kinds of movies that either the girl is sleeping and the boy saves the day, or the girl is awesome and the boy is a doofus.

Flynn is great. He fights for his girl. And lets be real, no matter how much feminism tells us otherwise, a girl wants a boy who is going to fight for her. A man who is going to defend her. I believe that is what we were created to long for. And in the end, both were willing to sacrifice themselves for the others well-being.

Merida in Brave was hailed as a Disney princess for feminists. She was fierce and a fighter. Like the awesome Katniss Everdeen, she was an amazing archer. And most importantly, she didn't want to get married. I had one problem with Merida...

She was a brat.

I couldn't stand her. The way she treated her family and threw temper tantrums was just annoying. (sorry if you liked the movie- the animation and music was beautiful, but I couldn't stand her).

This is not who I want girls emulating, they get enough brattiness from other TV shows and movies.

Why can't a girl be cute and girly? Why can't she be sweet and naive? Why can't she use a frying pan as a weapon?

Obviously, the person that we want our girls to emulate the most is Jesus first and foremost and then the Bible and Christian history is full of amazing women who gave their lives to God and others.

But when it comes to role models in secular culture, I really like Rapunzel.



*I am all for watching The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast (Belle is my favorite princess), but I definitely think that those movies need to be watched together and discussed (as most things do). However, the ones where the girl literally just sleeps while the prince slays the dragon (Sleeping Beauty and Snow White) nope, just nope. 

I'm not an awesome person

Lately, people have been asking me a lot about my plans after college (almost wrote high school...).

I've been asked a lot if I plan on staying in this area to teach after I graduate and, of course, I say no that I want to teach at an orphanage in India.

And I always get the same response:

"Wow. That is so amazing. That is so great that you want to do that!"

And I never really know how to respond.

Because on the one hand, it is kind of awesome. It is a huge need and I'm so excited to get to be a part of these kids lives and a part of the plan that God has for them.

But on the other hand, its not about me. Not at all.

I had nothing to do with it. I did not choose to do this. I didn't decide to go and do this awesome thing.

God literally reached into my life, lifted me off the path I was headed down and set me on this path instead. It was all his doing. I am simply following his directions. Because I've learned its better not to argue with the creator of the universe. He tends to win those arguments.

And even more importantly, I'm not an awesome person. I'm a sinner. I'm extremely selfish. I have a tendency to be lazy and procrastinate.

There are things about life in India that I dread, to be honest. I am not looking forward to the hot summers. I am not looking forward to be separated from my friends and family. I know that I will be frustrated and short tempered at times. I will not be the teacher that I want to be or imagine myself being.

I don't really know why I am writing this, except to say, I am not awesome.


but GOD is. 

To Care for the Fatherless

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this, to visit the orphan and the widow in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world. 

James 1:27

For almost 3 years, that has been one of my favorite verses in the Bible. 

The command to care for the fatherless. 

For the least of these.

It is all throughout scripture. We are to care for the poor, the fatherless, the widow, and the foreigners. 

Because that is what Christ does for us. 

This past Sunday, Danny Franks preached about this verse and the call to adopt for Christian families. He told his own family's story. They showed a video about their little girl that brought me to tears (granted it doesn't take much). 

I love how this family has lived out James 1:27 for our church. I love the way that their boys have stepped up and loved their little sister. I have been amazed as the boys that I knew as elementary schoolers have truly become young men of God in the past year or so. 

I love that our church is taking this call seriously. I love that there will be a packed house on Wednesday night as families come to learn more about adoption and fostering. 

I love that we want to follow Christ's command. I love that people's hearts are aching for the children around this city, country, and world who are alone tonight. 

I love it. 

I know that many of you were moved by Danny's message and by the words of the God coming alive in your hearts. 

I know that you feel the burden for these children. 

I also know that most of you are not in a place in your lives where you are ready or capable of adopting or fostering. 

I am single, in college, and 21 years old. I'm not going to adopt- that would be just crazy. 

But James 1:27 is talking to me. 

Some of you may be overwhelmed just trying to take care of the kids that you already have. 

James 1:27 is still talking to you. 

Adoption is beautiful. Watch the video of the Franks family, it is BEAUTIFUL. 

Adoption is not the only way to live out this command. 

I know 70 children right now who need someone to support them so that they can go to school. $100 per kid is all that it takes to educate a child for the whole year. 

That is caring for the orphaned. You may never meet the child your money went to, but you still made a HUGE impact on their lives. 

There are kids at the orphanage I work at that do not have sponsors and this breaks my heart. There are children who do not have someone here in America loving them, praying for them, providing for their needs. 

You may not be able to adopt. You may not have the finances for it or the mental capacity, but could you give $50 a month and love a child that you have never seen? 

I have been sponsoring a girl in India for the past 2 and a half years and it is the most fulfilling thing I do with my money. I love my girl more than I can express. She loves me too, she knows me from when I go, but she does not know that I am her sponsor. I don't want her to know. 

This trip, she told me that from now on, I'm her mom. My heart couldn't hardly handle her sweetness. 

You don't have to do either of the things that I just mentioned, but I will ask that you pray, truly pray and seek God's heart for the fatherless and the hurting children around the world. 

Our God is a great Father, and his heart aches for these children more than you or I could even imagine. He wants them to be cared for and loved, even in ways that may look different than we imagine. 

I will say again, this command to care for the fatherless is for every believer. 

So ask God how he would have you live it out. 

College men (cause so many of you read this blog) mentor a middle or high school student. That is a way of caring for the fatherless. 

Moms and Dads, consider sponsoring a child through some organization and tell your kids about it. Show them the pictures and have them write letters. Begin teaching them now to care for the kids like them who are less fortunate. 

I could go on, but I have to go to bed now. 

Above all, pray and then pray some more. God knows the children around the world who are without families. My daughter was not an accident, God knew when she was born and he knew the day that she went to live at that orphanage. Nothing that has happened in her life was outside of his great plan. 

God sets the lonely in families

Psalm 68:6

Here's the video of the super-awesome Franks family.

Have I ruined my life?

Recently, my friend, Becca, and I have been engaged in a really interesting discussion with our philosophy professor about Christianity (what we believe, how it affects our lives, things like that) on our class's online discussion board. I have been extremely impressed by our professor's respectful handling of this subject, even though he has said that he doesn't believe any of the Christian beliefs to be true. He has asked great questions that have made us think deeply about our beliefs and has just overalled, listened to what we have to say, he hasn't twisted the words of the Bible to meet his agenda or anything like that. I just wanted to preface with that so you know that our discussion has not been the typical sort people have here at UNC.

One thing in particular that he said made me really think though, and I posted it as a Facebook status, but I wanted to go into my thoughts about it a little more here. In my professor's explanation of his own beliefs, he basically said that by believing in Christianity and rejecting the things of this world we have ruined our lives.

At first, I was pretty upset that he said this. I guess I don't really see any way that I have ruined my life by believing in Jesus, if anything it has made it a whole lot better. I was beginning to come up with a great rebuttal to what he had said and prove him wrong and all that, but then I started thinking about Jesus and what he would have said on the subject...

Matthew 16:24-26

Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would saw his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his life?"

Matthew 10:37-39

"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will loose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."

Mark 10:21

And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, "You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven, and come, follow me."

Matthew 10:22 (repeated in Mark and Luke)

"and you will be hated by all for my name's sake."

It seems Jesus agrees with my professor. Following Jesus requires ruining one's life. At least the life that they had before following Jesus. 

This is certainly true in my own life. I had a nice, selfish plan for my life before truly surrendering my life to Jesus. (It was a ridiculous plan, but it was certainly what I wanted) Then I had a true run-in with Jesus and my life looks a whole lot different than I ever could have imagined. 

Now I plan on living the rest of my life on the other side of the world from everything that I have known and loved. I will have to give up all sorts of creature comforts that people work their whole lives to obtain- nice clothes, a nice house, nice car, heck, even air conditioning (in a place that hits 125 F, this is a pretty big sacrifice). I may never get married, never have kids of my own. And even if I do, my kids will grow up seeing their grandparents once a year or on a computer screen. 

Most people would say that this is crazy. They would say that I have ruined my life. 

Most people would say that I have ruined my life simply by choosing to major in education, since that's not exactly a career where you make a lot of money. 

And maybe I have. I don't want to sugar-coat what God has called me to do, it will be hard. I got a small taste of how hard it will be to leave behind everyone that I know and love and move to the other side of the world when I was overseas this past summer. It will be lonely and tiring and frustrating, and living a selfish life just seems so much easier. 

So why do we do it? Why am I going to move to India? 

I may be ruining my life here on earth, but I have the promise of so much more waiting for me in heaven. 

Mark 10:29-30

Jesus said, "Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sister or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life."

Jesus may have ruined the plans that I had for my life, but in exchange, He has given me more joy and peace than I could have ever imagined. I love the girls in India more than my heart can stand sometimes. This calling is a blessing in my life, never a burden. I get to love girls who have never known true love before and I get to tell them about their heavenly Father who loves them more than I or anyone on earth ever could. I would take that over a fancy car, big house, and successful career any day. 

So my question: has Jesus ruined your life? Why don't you let him and just see what blessings he has in store for you. 

A little wisdom from Anne of Green Gables

Last week, I went over to the wonderful Michal Rudolph's house to watch the first half of Anne of Green Gables (we need to finish it sometime next week, Michal!!) This was one of my favorite movies when I was younger and let me tell you, its even better all as a (sort of) adult.

Anne is such a character. What a sweet, innocent child. My friend, Ellen, pointed out, that despite everything that this little girl has been through, she is hopeful, imaginative, and happy. Somehow, she managed to avoid some extreme mental scarring.

But that's not really what I want to write about.

I was struck by something while watching the movie.

If you have seen it, then you will remember that sweet Anne hates her red hair. She thinks that it makes her hideous. Personally, I think that she is a beautiful little girl, and I used to long for pretty red hair like her's, but she hated it. She even tried to dye it black, but it turned out green.

At 2 points in the movie, other characters mocked her because of her hair. The first was her adoptive mother's friend and the second was Gilbert Blythe. In response to these comments (Gil called her "Carrots"), she verbally attacked the friend and broke her slate over Gil's head. It isn't until the end of the movie that she finally forgives Gil for his comments. (They end up married- but that's a different, wonderful story.)

Her responses seem extreme, right? Anne is just over dramatic, right?

At first glance, I would agree. But when I thought about it a little more, I understood.

These characters unintentionally picked on the very thing that Anne hated the most about herself, the things that she constantly was telling herself. When Gil called her "Carrots", he was repeated and cementing the thoughts that plagued her. He was validating the thing that she already thought- that she was ugly. That her hair made her undesirable and hideous.

Has this ever happened to you?

Has anyone ever unknowingly, hit that extremely raw nerve and confirm your worst fears about yourself?

Maybe, not. Maybe I'm just as dramatic as Anne, because I know that this has happened to me.

And I know how much it hurts.

I know how much I wish sometimes that I could break a slate over their head in response. (not really, you get my meaning)

But then I started thinking- What if I'm not Anne, what if I'm Gil?

Have my words unknowingly hit that raw nerve in someone's heart? Have I unintentionally found the thing that someone hates about themselves the most and then just flaunted it to the world? Have I done that intentionally?

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. 
Proverbs 12:18


A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. 
Proverbs 15:4

Believe me when I say, I am writing this more to myself than for anyone else. More times than not, but tongue is like sword thrusts, hurting instead of building up.

I need to think before I speak. I can't tell you how many times my mom told me that growing up, and not just saying mean things, just saying things in general- like Anne, I like to talk and don't always know when to stop.

Discernment in speaking is something that I need, its something that a lot of us need. So lets ask for it. Lets ask God to give us the wisdom to know when to not speak, when to just be quiet. Because even a joke, a little bit of teasing, it can be the thing to make a girl with pretty red hair do something completely stupid and end up dying it green.

I want people to say this about me:

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 
Proverbs 31:26

If you had no idea what I was just talking about, PLEASE go watch Anne of Green Gables. It is wonderful!

This song always makes me think of it. (random)

When everything feels futile

I'm sitting in my room trying to figure out what I should be doing. I know there are a lot of things that I could do, but I don't really want to. I could start studying for my next exams... Nah!

So, what do I do when I have nothing else to do? I read blogs of course!

I love going through the old blogs that people write, especially people that I don't know. I follow the blogs of some really incredible women and one of my absolute favorites is about a family that lives in Haiti right now. Check it out here, its great!

Anyway, I was just reading some of her old posts, and I came across this paragraph and seriously got chill bumps! 

 "And then I remembered Jenn and Justus...and how God is God all the time and Justus can't talk, and has to use sign language and there was Jenn, a stay at home mom, with a degree in deaf education, not using it, until Justus came along. Talk about God ordaining every single day of our lives? I'm sure Jenn had no idea she was sitting at Baylor learning to say things with her long pretty fingers because one day her son would desperately need those hands. But God knew. He always knows."

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. 

Make that a lot of times I wonder what I am doing here. 

Sometimes my classes seem completely futile. What am I learning that is actually going to help me in life? 

Sitting in Geology class wondering when I will ever need to know these things. Or in my North American landscapes class thinking, yah this is good and interesting, but I'm going to be teaching in India. I doubt that I'll be teaching them all about the different regions of the United States. 

Even as I look forward to my education classes, I wonder if they will end up frustrating me too sometimes. 

We had a meeting with one of the professors a few days ago and she was telling us about what we will be learning. And some of it sounds so exciting! 

We are going to be doing a lot of work with ESL kids and learning how to teach ESL kids, which excites me because I need to learn how to teach English. I'm sure that it is going to be taught with the assumption that we will be teaching Spanish-speaking kids English, but that is ok! 

But than there are other things that I just don't see how they will transfer over. Like a class specifically about using technology in the classroom. Technology is great, but I doubt that my classroom will have a SmartBoard in it. If we did get the money to buy a smartboard, I wouldn't want it. Do you know how long we could feed a kid with the money that it would cost for a smartboard? 

But God is God. 

God knows the things that I am learning now and He knows how He is going to use it one day. He knows exactly the things that I will need that I can't even imagine. 

He put me at a school where I could be learning Hindi instead of Spanish. Gave me the opportunity to take an entire class focused on South Asia and their history and current events. So that I could learn things like the states in India, because that is what I will be teaching my kids. 

So who knows what God has in store for me. I don't, but He does. Maybe He is going to send a child in India to me who is fascinated with the earth and I will be able to teach him some of the things that I learned in Geol 101. Who know! 

So if you're like me and sit in class wondering how this is ever going to be relevant to your life. Maybe you're forcing facts into your head right now, cramming for exams and just can't think of a good enough reason to motivate you to keep on going, God has a reason for you to be learning what you are right now. He is going to use it. 

And so I will study. I will try to study without complaining. I will learn the things that are available here for me to learn and I will try to be diligent about my work. Because what I'm learning might feel pointless, it might seem like I will never in my life use it, but God may have other plans.

Grace for Today

I thought exam week would be a good time to share something that I have been learning recently.

I stayed up until 4:00 in the morning last night working on 2 projects. If you know me, that should shock you. I do not stay up, but I had a lot to do and it all took much longer than I was expecting (I also don't focus very well and I procrastinate, but that is a different post).

I tell you that because I think that you can probably relate. This is a stressful time for us. Too much work and too few hours to do it all in, not too mention the stress of moving out of our dorms and getting ready for the summer.

Several of my friends are going on summer project with Cornerstone or doing the CityProject with Summit and they are rushing to get all the support in that they need. That adds more stress.

But its not just exam times that we get stressed. And if you aren't in college, exams obviously don't apply to you.

We are trying to figure out what we are going to do with our lives, where we will work after graduation.

A few weeks ago, I was freaking out about whether or not I would get in to the school of education.

I do my math homework, trying to explain how to divide fractions, and I start freaking out about how I'm ever supposed to be able to teach this stuff in Hindi.

A few weeks ago, JD started talking about parenting in one of his sermons, and I started freaking about how hard parenting will be.


I hope that you get the point that I am trying to make.

Stress and worry can consume us!

And not just about things that seem reasonable.

It seems reasonable to be stressed and worried over finals that start in two days.

It is NOT reasonable for me at 20 years old to be sitting in church wondering how I will ever raise my kids-- that's crazy.

But you know what? They are both wrong.

This is something that I have been learning with Veronica recently.

We don't think about worry being wrong, but it is.

Do you know why?

Because it shows a lack of trust in God.

When I worry about my exams, I'm saying that I don't trust God to provide the stamina that I need to study and do well.

When I worry about how I will manage to teach or be of any use in India, I am doubting the very thing that God has called me and doubting that He will use me despite myself.

I am standing in my own ability to get things done and using God as my back up plan, for when I begin to fail, then I can turn to Him.

That's not what God has taught us to do.

He has told us to cast all our fears and burdens on Him, because He cares for us-- 1 Peter 5:7

He has told us to rely fully on Him and not on our own abilities-- Proverbs 3:5

When Veronica and I were talking about this, she told me something that I want to share with you.

When Jesus was on earth, He said these words,"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

On first glance, (and second) that is not a very encouraging statement. I mean that's what I'm worried about, that I won't be able to handle what is coming tomorrow.

But Jesus is telling us not to worry, to not be consumed with thoughts about tomorrow, because God will care for us.

What Veronica showed me is that Jesus is not saying that we will have to face tomorrow on our own, but that when tomorrow comes, God will give us the grace for the things that need to be done that day.

Things coming tomorrow, or next month or 5 years from now seem so huge and un-doable, because we don't have the grace that we need to face them yet.

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. 'The Lord is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.'"
Lamentations 3:22-24

How many times have you freaked out about something and then when it came, you were wondering why you were so worried?

This happens to me all the time.

I'll be freaking out about a project or test for days and then when it comes time to take it, its not that bad and I usually do fine.

This isn't because I'm such a great studier and hard worker.

It's because God daily gives us the grace that we need for each day.

I don't know how to be a parent right now, God hasn't given that to me yet. But, if the time comes, I believe that He will so why stress about it now?

This is not to say that we shouldn't prepare for things. I'm not saying don't study for tests and instead believe that God will tell you the right answers, that's not what He said.

Obviously, we have to still study for our tests. I pray that when the time comes to go to India, God will give me the ability to do the things that He has called me to do. I also pray that if He wants me to be a wife and a mother, than He will teach me how and give me the grace to love my family.

He tells us not to worry.

Pray and prepare, but trust and don't worry. 

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."
Matthew 6:25-33

Seek God first, and He will take care of the rest. 


Trust in the grace that He gives us every day. Grace for today.

Tell Hershey enough is enough!!

I have had a great response from the post that I wrote a few days ago!! So many people saying that they are going to stop supporting Hershey because child slavery is NOT OK!


I wanted to give you a link to sign a petition that the International Labor Rights Forum has written. Your e-mail will be sent to Hershey demanding that they stop supporting child slavery.

Please take a second and fill out the petition, it will take like 2 seconds!!

Here's the link-- http://action.laborrights.org/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=1303 


Also, check out this post by Sharon Miller about why we as believers should care about ethical production and consider buying Fair Trade.  It's really great and she lays out a much better explanation than I ever could!

Why I will no long be eating Hershey chocolate

I hate it when my classes interfere with my real life-- seriously, it's a major pet peeve of mine.

So, of course, I'm going to share what I have found out and learned with you all, so that you can join in my frustration ;)

Seriously though, Did you know that there are more people in slavery today than there were when slavery was legal in the United States and Europe?

In school, we study and talk about the horrors of the old slave trade and the evils of the plantations that thrived on the forced labor of African slaves.

But how often do we talk about the slave trade that continues today?

When do we talk about the young girls kidnapped around the world and forced into prostitution or sold to rich businessmen to be their sex slaves?

Or how about the boys kidnapped and forced to do hard, often dangerous labor in a place far from their homes?

How about the parents that think that they are leaving their child for the day and then never get them back because their children have been sold?

Why don't we talk about that??

It's not pleasant, but it goes on. And it's not some far off problem. Human trafficking happens in OUR cities, right in our backyards. It's not some far off people in Thailand or India selling girls in Red Light Districts. This happens HERE!

What does this have to do with Hershey you ask?

I just finished writing a paper about Hershey chocolate and after doing about 10 minutes of research I came to a decision.

I cannot buy anything made by Hershey.

Why not?

Because the cocoa farms that Hershey purchases their cocoa for their products from uses child SLAVE labor.

As if child labor in a potentially dangerous environment is not bad enough, 15% of these children report being forced to work.

These children should be going to school, they should be having a childhood, they should be enjoying their lives. They should not be forced to harvest cocoa day after day.

And Hershey knows! In 2001, a reporter shed light on the slavery in cocoa production and the chocolate companies were told that they needed to do something about this problem. Some have. Mars Inc, for example, has made great strides in ensuring that their products are not produced by slaves.

Hershey has not.

They have made almost no progress in getting their products Fair Trade Certified and continue to refuse to trace their supply chain in order to check and make sure that their suppliers do not use child slaves.

If you want to find out more about what Hershey has or has not done, read this report developed by several NGO's. It's disturbing to read about what is going on in Ghana and the Ivory Coast and to know that my chocolate cravings help to continue this problem.

So I'm going to stop. I am not going to give my money to a corporation that supports child slavery, there is just no way.

As a person who loves people and loves children, I think that this is just awful. Without even considering my beliefs as a Christian, just as a human, I cannot support this. I think that most of us would like to think that if we had lived in the early 1800s, we would have been against slavery. We would have seen that it was wrong and refused to own people as if they were cattle. We see now that that is so wrong and we like to think that we would have tried to stop it.

Well here's our chance. Slavery isn't over. It didn't end in 1865, it still goes on. So are we going to stand against it? Or are we going to claim ignorance and ignore the cries of children all around the world?

But I am also a Christian, and as such, I believe that every human life is a precious gift from God. It doesn't matter what a person's skin color is, where they live, or how much money they have, they are precious to God. Genesis 1:27 tells us that we are created in the image of God. God does not make accidents. He knows and loves every person on this planet by name.

If every life is precious to God, than every life must be precious to me. If I am striving to live my life like Jesus, than I will love everyone the same and pour my life out for every person in need.

This weekend we celebrate Easter. The time when Jesus gave His life so that each one of us could spend eternity with Him in Heaven. Jesus poured out His life and His blood for my salvation and freedom, and I can't give up chocolate for the freedom of young boys in the Ivory Coast?

How is that living a life like Jesus did?

My desire in life is to look as much like my Savior as I can, and this is one way that I am going to try. Jesus would not have overlooked the suffering of these children, and neither can I.

I want to go ahead and address some of the responses that I know are probably going through your head:

1. You are only one person, what good will you not buying Hershey products do?

I was a vegetarian for 4 years, I can't tell you the number of times that I have heard this said to me.

I'll be honest, its not going to do much. Me not buying my occasional Kit-Kat is not going to upset the Hershey company and completely destroy the chocolate empire that they have built.

But you know what will? If you join me. And you tell your friends and they join too. Together, we can make a difference.

But even if you don't, even if it is just me, does that really matter? Should I give my money to a company that uses child slave labor just because if I didn't it wouldn't do anything? of course not!

If someone was running a brothel, would you go in a pay for a prostitute, just because if you didn't someone else would?? What sense does that make at all!

The bottom line is, whether or not Hershey changes or notices that I don't buy from them anymore, I WILL NOT be a part of supporting slave labor. I will not knowingly give my money to a company like that.

There is a quote from Helen Keller that I LOVE that speaks to this issue.
 

"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do." 

2. Hershey isn't the only company doing this, what about all the others? What about sweatshops, etc?

Good point, if you know of other companies that use child slaves, PLEASE tell me so that I can stop buying from them too.

But here's the reality, if I were to spend a whole bunch of time researching all the places that I cannot shop and the brands that I can't buy, I would very quickly get burnt out. There are just so many out there, it would be really hard. So I'm going to take it slow, one thing at a time. First let me break my chocolate addiction and then we can talk sweatshops, because those are awful, too.

If you are interested in making sure that the products that you buy are ethically produced and sustainable, goodguide.com is a GREAT resource. All you have to do is type in either the product that you want to buy or the brand that you buy from and it rates it based on health, society and environment. If you are serious about practicing responsible shopping, then I would suggest checking it out.

We can make a difference. We are called to a light in the darkness and that means showing the people of this world God's love. How can we do that if we support the very people who are keeping them oppressed?

Will you join me? Will you do a little research of your own into the Hershey Company? Will you help me stand up for the rights of children in West Africa?

Take a second and fill out this petition that will be sent to Hershey-- http://action.laborrights.org/p/dia/action/public/?action_KEY=1303

Contentment

I have been experiencing something pretty unusual for me.

I am content.

I am completely happy where God has me right now.

Maybe its because I know that I will be in India soon (can't wait for this summer!!!) or maybe its because I'm finally truly trusting in God's plan for me and seeing the good that is coming from waiting on His timing.

But I am happy being here.

I don't usually feel this way. I am an impatient person. When I figured out the summer before my senior year of high school that India is where I'm supposed to be, that's where I wanted to be. Right then. God had other plans.

He didn't want me to go that Christmas, I don't know why. I do know that by waiting, when I did go, it was everything that I had hoped and thought that it would be and so much more. Maybe He knew that if I went that Christmas, I would be going even more crazy waiting to go back than I am right now. I don't know, but I do know that His way is best.

But now I have been. I now I want to go back so bad sometimes, it hurts.

A few of my friends are trying so hard right now to figure out what they're majors will be and what they will do with their lives. I know what to do with my life. I have known for a while now and its hard not being able to do it.

But I trust.

I trust that there is a reason that I'm supposed to be here right now. I trust that there are things that I am learning that will be so important when my time to go finally comes. I just trust.

I've been learning and growing so much in the past few months, it blows my mind. I have so many amazing people pouring into my life in so many different ways. I get to be a small part of several wonderful families from the Summit and get to spend hours loving and being loved by some of the cutest children in the world. When I show up at the Greear's house, little RL comes running to me with the biggest smile on her face. And I have the absolute best parents in the world and the greatest siblings a girl could ask for.

I can't wait to go to India, both this summer and for however long after I graduate, but for now, God wants me here and I am happy to be here.

How I read the Bible

I was thinking the other day about how I read the Bible. I listen to people talk about how they long to be in the Word and learn so much during their time with God and can find such deep truths in the simplest verses, and it got me thinking...

Why don't I feel like that towards the Bible?

I spend time reading the Bible. I have been good about having my daily quiet time. I would read a chapter from whatever book of the Bible I was in at the time, read a Psalm, and then pray. 

But I never longed to read the Bible.

It's what I do in the morning while I eat my breakfast. 

It's what I do because I know that I should.

It's what I do because I honestly love spending my time in the morning with God and can completely tell a difference in my day if for some reason I missed a morning. 

But I wouldn't say that I love the Bible. 

And I think that I know why. 

I tend to read the Bible the way that I read my books for school, not the way that I read my books for fun. There is a complete difference in the two. 

My school books I read out of obligation. Even when I enjoy them and find them interesting, I don't love reading them, I don't read ahead of the assigned reading because I'm dieing to find out something new about rocks (I'm taking goel 101). 

I read what I have to, but no more. 

With the books that I read because I want to, its completely different. When I was reading Harry Potter for the first time, I would stay up till like 1 in the morning reading, nevermind that I had to get up at 6 for school the next day. I couldn't wait to get home and be done with my school work so that I could sit up in my room and read. I would turn off the TV and instead read. 

Why do I get more excited about reading Harry Potter than I do the Word of God?

I think that I read the Bible the way that I read for school. I might enjoy it and I definitely learn from it, but I don't do it for fun. I don't sit down in my spare time to pick up my Bible and do some pleasure reading in Leviticus.

I think that I put a lot of pressure on myself, I tend to think that if I don't find some life-changing theology in every verse, than I'm not working hard enough.

I turn it into a chore, instead of a joy. 

So, I'm trying something new. I'm just reading. I'm starting in Genesis and I'm just reading. If something jumps out at me, I write it down, but I'm not stressing myself out about how much I read or what I get out of what I read. I just read. 

I hope to get all the way through during this year, but I'm not going to stress out over following a schedule. The other day, I read one chapter, today I read 6. 

And I'm enjoying it!

Maybe this is something that you can relate to. If so, I would love to hear what you think, things that you have been thinking about or praying about.

This is what I'm trying, I'll let you know how it goes.

If you would pray for me, that I would develop a true love and joy in God's Word, I would appreciate it!!