Adoption is something that I think about a lot. No, I'm not adopting, obviously, but I do love adoption and love hearing stories of adoption and supporting people who are adopting.
But, I have a dilemma when it comes to adoption. I have begun to notice some things that don't sit right with me and my experiences working at an orphanage have also changed some of my ideas about adoption.
This is me trying to sort through these different things. Maybe you have thought about it and have some thoughts to share, maybe not. Maybe you have never thought about adoption or orphans at all, maybe this will change that.
I hope that I don't come across as judgmental. If you are adopting, than I am so happy for you. You are following God's call on your life and doing what you can to live out the command to care for the fatherless that is given in the Bible.
That said, we have to be thinking about ways beyond adoption to care for orphans.
Adoption is not going to save the world.
Adoption is not going to solve the orphan crisis.
Adoption will not even necessarily save the child that is adopted.
This is my main concern that I get from reading that adoption blogs that I do (I know, I'm a creeper). I hope that more adoptions continue to happen, but adoption is not the only way to care for orphans and it is not going to be the solution to the problem. Not enough people want to adopt and there are so many children in the world who can't be adopted, even if someone did want to adopt them. This is for a variety of reasons. Not all of the children in the 147 million orphans figure are actual orphans, many still have parents or family that for some reason are not able to care for them. Many of these children are older than most want to adopt, not all orphans are babies or even young children, teenagers are orphans too, how often do you hear of teenagers being adopted? (Sidenote, a couple at my church just adopted two teenagers from the Ukraine- so awesome! pray for them with me please!) Finally, not all countries are open to international adoption.
Adoption is not going to happen for many of these children, so are they just completely out of luck? Is there nothing that we can do for them?
I'm not going to lie, reading these blogs, I get frustrated with the way that adoption is often presented as the only way to help orphans, the end all be all solution to the orphan crisis. These irritates me for a number of reasons. I'm 20 years old and single, I am not about to adopt a child. So where do I fit in in caring for orphans? There really isn't a place for me if adoption is the only option, and yet this is what God has called me to do in my life, so there has to be a place for me in it, right? Also, like I was saying, there are so many children that are not going to be adopted and if adoption is our only solution, then they are completely left out in the cold.
There are so many other ways that we can be involved. There are so many different organizations that need sponsors for children. The orphanage that I work with needs sponsors, there are so many smaller feeding and education programs that need support and help so that children can be fed and educated. 30,000 children will die today from malnutrition and related diseases! These children are not all orphans, but they are all children who we can care for and love. Children are going through their lives without ever going to school, what is their life going to be like?
Another thing that just doesn't sit right with me is the language that is used to talk about these children. They are put into categories: adoptable, unadoptable, and WAITING. I can't tell you how much I hate hearing children described as waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting for what? And when do they get to stop waiting? If a child is "waiting" at 4 years old, is he still waiting when he's 15 and still hasn't been adopted? These are all just children, whether they are adoptable or not, they are just children who have been through so much pain and they just need someone to love them.
Finally, adoption creates a dependence. While we are trying to create a culture of adoption here in the States, what will that do in the other countries from where the children are being adopted? My roommate spent 6 months living and working at orphanages in Uganda before our freshman year. She has told me many things about her time there that I fascinates me, but one thing that has stuck with me is a conversation that she had about adoption. Her aunt and uncle live in Uganda and she was talking with them about adoption and they said that they didn't actually really like adoption, because it makes child abandonment ok. If people see that Americans are coming and taking care of the orphans, then they will be more likely to abandon their own children when times get hard and they can't care for them. Also, by adopting all these children, are we stepping on the toes of the local Church? Doing the job that they should be doing in taking care of their children for them?
But here's the dilemma, don't those children deserve families though?
Don't all these kids need moms and dads who will love them and care for them?
People to tuck them in at night and hold them when they are scared?
I don't have an answer. All my thoughts on this are so contradictory. I love orphanages, but I also do really believe that children need families and mainly, parents who will love them.
I rest in the fact that I do not have to decide this. It's not like it has to be one thing or the other, either everyone adopts or no one adopts. I feel called to work at an orphanage, some feel called to adopt- we all must just follow what God is telling us each to do and trust that He knows what He is doing.
But I will continue to share my thoughts on adoption. I feel like I have a unique viewpoint on it, having seen what a God-centered orphanage can look like and I am going to share what I have experienced. I want people to know that there are ways besides adoption that we can all be involved in orphan care. There are ways that a single, college or high school student can love a child and make a difference in their life, even if I can't bring them to my home. I want you all to be aware of the ways that we can all be a part of this ministry, because we are all supposed to be involved. James 1:27 does not just call out married couples looking to adopt, it says that it is the duty of
every believer to care for the fatherless.
Finally, I rest in the knowledge of Psalm 68:6- "God sets the lonely in families"
Those families will not necessary look like ours. They might be an orphanage or a church family or maybe a dad, mom, siblings and a dog. Who knows? Only God.
One more thing- can we please stop calling them "waiting" children?? k, thanks!!
Much love!!
Read on
here for ideas besides adoption. I will continue to share ideas as I come up with them.
