An Adoptive Generation

A comment yesterday made me think.

One of the dad's that I babysit for said that he hopes/thinks that his generation will be known for adoption. That its happening all over the place- people in the church adopting children from all over the world.

It got me thinking about what the church will look like if that's true. If the generation that is having children right now becomes known as the adoption generation.

How cool will that be?

I know that I write a lot about adoption not being enough to solve the orphan crisis (and I did share with him some of my thoughts, I can't seem to help it haha), but I really think adoption is awesome and thinking about what the church will look like when adoption is common.

When an adopted child isn't the only adopted child in his class, neighborhood, or church.

When an adopted child isn't the only non-white child in a church (adopted or not).

When people won't think its strange or do a double-take at a white mom and dad dropping a non-white child off at Sunday School. 

When adopted children and families have friends to turn to for support and comfort.

When adoption becomes normal.

Right now, when someone adopts, the reaction (I hope) is really positive- people say things like "that is so great!! You're doing such a great thing. God is going to use you to change the world for that child!" I say things like that!!

But think about it- when someone gets pregnant, they aren't told that they are doing a great thing- they're just having a baby. It's great, people are happy- but its normal. You're just starting your family like everyone else.

How cool would it be if a day comes when adoption is just normal.


Instead of being told how great someone is for adopting or how awesome is it that they are following God's call for their lives, people just say "congratulations! where from? when do you hope to have him home?"


It won't make adoption any less great. Having kids is still great, its still a call from God. Your children are your most important mission field.


But it will be normal.


What if people didn't think twice about adoption- its just one normal way of starting or adding to your family.


How cool will that be?

My adoption dilemma

Adoption is something that I think about a lot. No, I'm not adopting, obviously, but I do love adoption and love hearing stories of adoption and supporting people who are adopting.

But, I have a dilemma when it comes to adoption. I have begun to notice some things that don't sit right with me and my experiences working at an orphanage have also changed some of my ideas about adoption.

This is me trying to sort through these different things. Maybe you have thought about it and have some thoughts to share, maybe not. Maybe you have never thought about adoption or orphans at all, maybe this will change that.

I hope that I don't come across as judgmental. If you are adopting, than I am so happy for you. You are following God's call on your life and doing what you can to live out the command to care for the fatherless that is given in the Bible.

That said, we have to be thinking about ways beyond adoption to care for orphans.

Adoption is not going to save the world.
Adoption is not going to solve the orphan crisis.
Adoption will not even necessarily save the child that is adopted.

This is my main concern that I get from reading that adoption blogs that I do (I know, I'm a creeper). I hope that more adoptions continue to happen, but adoption is not the only way to care for orphans and it is not going to be the solution to the problem. Not enough people want to adopt and there are so many children in the world who can't be adopted, even if someone did want to adopt them. This is for a variety of reasons. Not all of the children in the 147 million orphans figure are actual orphans, many still have parents or family that for some reason are not able to care for them. Many of these children are older than most want to adopt, not all orphans are babies or even young children, teenagers are orphans too, how often do you hear of teenagers being adopted? (Sidenote, a couple at my church just adopted two teenagers from the Ukraine- so awesome! pray for them with me please!) Finally, not all countries are open to international adoption.

Adoption is not going to happen for many of these children, so are they just completely out of luck? Is there nothing that we can do for them?

I'm not going to lie, reading these blogs, I get frustrated with the way that adoption is often presented as the only way to help orphans, the end all be all solution to the orphan crisis. These irritates me for a number of reasons. I'm 20 years old and single, I am not about to adopt a child. So where do I fit in in caring for orphans? There really isn't a place for me if adoption is the only option, and yet this is what God has called me to do in my life, so there has to be a place for me in it, right? Also, like I was saying, there are so many children that are not going to be adopted and if adoption is our only solution, then they are completely left out in the cold.

There are so many other ways that we can be involved. There are so many different organizations that need sponsors for children. The orphanage that I work with needs sponsors, there are so many smaller feeding and education programs that need support and help so that children can be fed and educated. 30,000 children will die today from malnutrition and related diseases! These children are not all orphans, but they are all children who we can care for and love. Children are going through their lives without ever going to school, what is their life going to be like?

Another thing that just doesn't sit right with me is the language that is used to talk about these children. They are put into categories: adoptable, unadoptable, and WAITING. I can't tell you how much I hate hearing children described as waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting for what? And when do they get to stop waiting? If a child is "waiting" at 4 years old, is he still waiting when he's 15 and still hasn't been adopted? These are all just children, whether they are adoptable or not, they are just children who have been through so much pain and they just need someone to love them.

Finally, adoption creates a dependence. While we are trying to create a culture of adoption here in the States, what will that do in the other countries from where the children are being adopted? My roommate spent 6 months living and working at orphanages in Uganda before our freshman year. She has told me many things about her time there that I fascinates me, but one thing that has stuck with me is a conversation that she had about adoption. Her aunt and uncle live in Uganda and she was talking with them about adoption and they said that they didn't actually really like adoption, because it makes child abandonment ok. If people see that Americans are coming and taking care of the orphans, then they will be more likely to abandon their own children when times get hard and they can't care for them. Also, by adopting all these children, are we stepping on the toes of the local Church? Doing the job that they should be doing in taking care of their children for them?

But here's the dilemma, don't those children deserve families though?

Don't all these kids need moms and dads who will love them and care for them?
People to tuck them in at night and hold them when they are scared?

I don't have an answer. All my thoughts on this are so contradictory. I love orphanages, but I also do really believe that children need families and mainly, parents who will love them.

I rest in the fact that I do not have to decide this. It's not like it has to be one thing or the other, either everyone adopts or no one adopts. I feel called to work at an orphanage, some feel called to adopt- we all must just follow what God is telling us each to do and trust that He knows what He is doing.

But I will continue to share my thoughts on adoption. I feel like I have a unique viewpoint on it, having seen what a God-centered orphanage can look like and I am going to share what I have experienced. I want people to know that there are ways besides adoption that we can all be involved in orphan care. There are ways that a single, college or high school student can love a child and make a difference in their life, even if I can't bring them to my home. I want you all to be aware of the ways that we can all be a part of this ministry, because we are all supposed to be involved. James 1:27 does not just call out married couples looking to adopt, it says that it is the duty of every believer to care for the fatherless.

Finally, I rest in the knowledge of Psalm 68:6- "God sets the lonely in families"

Those families will not necessary look like ours. They might be an orphanage or a church family or maybe a dad, mom, siblings and a dog. Who knows? Only God.

One more thing- can we please stop calling them "waiting" children?? k, thanks!!


Much love!!

Read on here for ideas besides adoption. I will continue to share ideas as I come up with them. 

Is Adoption the only way?

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit the orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27

Before I write what's on my heart, I want to preface with something. I LOVE adoption. I think that it is amazing! I love that the church is finally really stepping up to take care of the world's orphans. If you are in the process of adopting, I admire your faith and would love to babysit for you haha. I also hope to, one day, adopt myself.

That said, I want to suggest something.

What if adoption is not the only way that we can live out James 1:27?

Think about it. There are 147 MILLION orphans in the world today. Granted, there are also enough Christians in the world, even the United States, that if everyone would adopt, there would be no more orphans left. But not everyone is supposed to adopt. Not all Christians are in a position where adoption is an option. For whatever reason, there are still 147 million orphans in the world with no one to care for them. 147 million orphans in the world waiting for families.

What if they were able to stop waiting?

What if they were able to have people love them, even though those people weren't adopting them?

What if they had dozens of brothers and sisters to play with and love?

What if they stopped feeling rejected and start to feel like they belonged somewhere?

What if all of that was possible within an orphanage?


A lot of you are going to disagree with that last statement, I know. I agree that a child should have a mother and a father, that is God's design for a family. But we live in a fallen world and for whatever reason that is beyond my imagination, children are growing up around the world completely alone with no one to love them.

I think back on the kids that I know in the orphanage in India that I get to work with. They are a family. They love each other and play with one another. They take care of one another. Of course, they pick on each other and can be mean like brothers and sisters will be like, but in the end they are truly a family.

They aren't up for adoption, domestic or foreign. At first, I didn't understand this. I didn't really like it. I thought but if they could get a family, wouldn't that be better? But after thinking about it for a long time and seeing the kids, I think I understand it a little bit better now. In fact, I like it. 

While there, Emily and I would joke about how we want to take them home with us. I would say, "They're little, one of them would fit in my suitcase I'm sure!" We were joking of course, but one day, one of the guys was just like, "Laura, they wouldn't want to go with you!" And he's completely right. They wouldn't want to leave. India is their home. LCH is their home and those other boys and girls are their family and the people who work there love them like parents. They wouldn't want to leave.

And I can't help but wonder what would happen if they were to leave. What if they were being taken out for adoption? What would that do to the family atmosphere? All their life, these kids had no sense of stability. They never knew where they would be living, who would take care of them, or if they were in danger. And then, if they finally found someplace safe to live, but its just a waiting room for a new family in America, then would it be just that- a waiting room? You don't befriend the people sitting in the waiting room of the doctors' office, because you will never see them again. Would it become that way for these kids? How would the fact that kids were leaving affect the relationships that are formed? How would the fact that some kids were chosen to leave affect those who were never chosen? Would they forever feel that they weren't good enough? That for some reason they are unlovable?

I'm not saying that adoption is wrong at all. Again, I love it. And granted, the kids that I have worked with are much older, so they are able to form family relationships amongst each other. Maybe in orphanages where the children are much younger, children coming and going wouldn't negatively affect the kids. I just can't help but wonder what it does to the stability of the place. AND not all orphanages are a safe place for kids to stay. Some of them, the children are just as neglected and mistreated as if they were living on the street. Those children should not have to stay in an unsafe environment like that.

And I can't help but wonder what else we can be doing to protect the fatherless besides just adopting.

Adopting helps one child and can potentially change one child's eternity- which is AMAZING!

But, think about the lives that could be changed by investing in an ORPHANAGE.



I'm not trying to plug the group that I work for (although, I'm never against that haha). I just want us to start to think about that. Why do we assume that it is impossible for a child to grow up happy and healthy in their own country? Why do they have to be adopted into an American family in order to have a good life?

What if they could have a good life and learn about God in their own country?

Just a thought for today. Please leave comments with your thoughts, opinions, questions, etc. I would love to hear what you think about this idea

Cool article

Saw this article today from the Wall Street Journal (no, I do not read the Wall Street Journal, I found it on another blog haha) talking about the recent increase in Christian families adopting. You should read it.

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703743504575494263102089970.html

This may be the best idea I've ever heard

Like I mentioned earlier, adoption has been really highlighted at Summit this summer and a lot of families have taken up the challenge of adopting a child into their home. Well today, while I was stalking another blog (I have a serious addiction haha), I was directed to another family's adoption blog, where I found a link to the coolest thing I have ever seen. (did you follow that progression?)

Check out this website,  http://justlovecoffee.com/index.htm. It's a company that sells fair trade coffee and then part of the proceeds goes to a family going through the adoption process! What?! As an absolute coffee addict, this is right up my alley, even more than cute t-shirts. I mean, coffee is something that I would buy anyway, and now I can help someone bring their child home, just by drinking my morning coffee!! That's so brilliant (random, as my roommate pointed out, but brilliant!)

Needless to say, I'm about to order some. And the link to the Summit family's specific page, so that the money goes to them, is http://justlovecoffee.com/TheMcGees. This is seriously cool!

Adoption T

As I'm sure most of you know, the Summit has recently been talking about the churches responsibility to care for the orphans in this world and encouraging its families to pray and consider adoption or foster care. Many families have responded to this call and decided to take the leap of faith and open up their homes to a child in need. Clearly, orphans are very important to me and adoption is something that I am very passionate about. Also, I obviously cannot adopt for myself at this stage in life seeing as I'm in college, 19, and not married, so I'll settle for being excited and praying for the families who are in this process.

One such family, Matt and Catherine Allison, (Matt runs the Route 56 at Brier Creek) are in the process of adopting a little boy from Rwanda and they are selling t-shirts to raise money for the whole process. As most know, adoption is a very expensive process and what easier way to show your support and God's love by doing something as simple as buying a t-shirt (and they're really cute and Carolina blue). Here's a picture of them, I'll be getting one and I think you should too!

If you're interested, e-mail Catherine at catherinesallison@gmail.com. The shirts come in XXS, small, medium, large and XL and the suggested donation is 20$. Also, you should check out the Allison's blog for more info about getting the shirt and to just keep up on what God is doing throughout this journey- http://allisonantics.blogspot.com/


I'll leave you with the verse that is on the shirt and sums up why we believe that orphan care is so important.

John 14:18
I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you.