To Care for the Fatherless

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this, to visit the orphan and the widow in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained from the world. 

James 1:27

For almost 3 years, that has been one of my favorite verses in the Bible. 

The command to care for the fatherless. 

For the least of these.

It is all throughout scripture. We are to care for the poor, the fatherless, the widow, and the foreigners. 

Because that is what Christ does for us. 

This past Sunday, Danny Franks preached about this verse and the call to adopt for Christian families. He told his own family's story. They showed a video about their little girl that brought me to tears (granted it doesn't take much). 

I love how this family has lived out James 1:27 for our church. I love the way that their boys have stepped up and loved their little sister. I have been amazed as the boys that I knew as elementary schoolers have truly become young men of God in the past year or so. 

I love that our church is taking this call seriously. I love that there will be a packed house on Wednesday night as families come to learn more about adoption and fostering. 

I love that we want to follow Christ's command. I love that people's hearts are aching for the children around this city, country, and world who are alone tonight. 

I love it. 

I know that many of you were moved by Danny's message and by the words of the God coming alive in your hearts. 

I know that you feel the burden for these children. 

I also know that most of you are not in a place in your lives where you are ready or capable of adopting or fostering. 

I am single, in college, and 21 years old. I'm not going to adopt- that would be just crazy. 

But James 1:27 is talking to me. 

Some of you may be overwhelmed just trying to take care of the kids that you already have. 

James 1:27 is still talking to you. 

Adoption is beautiful. Watch the video of the Franks family, it is BEAUTIFUL. 

Adoption is not the only way to live out this command. 

I know 70 children right now who need someone to support them so that they can go to school. $100 per kid is all that it takes to educate a child for the whole year. 

That is caring for the orphaned. You may never meet the child your money went to, but you still made a HUGE impact on their lives. 

There are kids at the orphanage I work at that do not have sponsors and this breaks my heart. There are children who do not have someone here in America loving them, praying for them, providing for their needs. 

You may not be able to adopt. You may not have the finances for it or the mental capacity, but could you give $50 a month and love a child that you have never seen? 

I have been sponsoring a girl in India for the past 2 and a half years and it is the most fulfilling thing I do with my money. I love my girl more than I can express. She loves me too, she knows me from when I go, but she does not know that I am her sponsor. I don't want her to know. 

This trip, she told me that from now on, I'm her mom. My heart couldn't hardly handle her sweetness. 

You don't have to do either of the things that I just mentioned, but I will ask that you pray, truly pray and seek God's heart for the fatherless and the hurting children around the world. 

Our God is a great Father, and his heart aches for these children more than you or I could even imagine. He wants them to be cared for and loved, even in ways that may look different than we imagine. 

I will say again, this command to care for the fatherless is for every believer. 

So ask God how he would have you live it out. 

College men (cause so many of you read this blog) mentor a middle or high school student. That is a way of caring for the fatherless. 

Moms and Dads, consider sponsoring a child through some organization and tell your kids about it. Show them the pictures and have them write letters. Begin teaching them now to care for the kids like them who are less fortunate. 

I could go on, but I have to go to bed now. 

Above all, pray and then pray some more. God knows the children around the world who are without families. My daughter was not an accident, God knew when she was born and he knew the day that she went to live at that orphanage. Nothing that has happened in her life was outside of his great plan. 

God sets the lonely in families

Psalm 68:6

Here's the video of the super-awesome Franks family.

Midwifery

Yes that is a word, I swear- I've checked because it sounds so silly to say.

What do you think of when you hear midwife?

I think 2 things: crazy hippies who wear long skirts and have crazy long hair (nice stereotype) and I think I want to be one.

This summer has put a lot of thoughts into my head, a lot that I will be gradually sharing with you, this one thought has definitely been the most prevalent.

I think I want to be a midwife.

That thought is a little terrifying to me, to be honest.

I hate science. I'm not good at it and I have only ever taken one science class in college and that was geology and I hated it. If I'm actually going to do this, I will have to take so much science. I will have to get caught up on all those science classes I was so thankful I didn't have to take (chemistry, biology, anatomy, etc, etc). And then on top of that, I will have to take 2-3 years of classes on how to be a midwife.

That's a lot more school than I ever thought I would want to do.

But I think I may want to do this.

Why you ask? I'm so glad that you did.

Because in Afghanistan, 133 babies per 1000 births die (according to UNICEF).

Because in Afghanistan, a woman faces a 1 in 11 chance of dying in childbirth. That means that for every 11 women that give birth, 1 will die. I can easily name 11 women that I know who have given birth in the last year or will be giving birth soon- I'm sure you can too. Imagine one of them dead. 

Because in Ethiopia, 94% of women give birth without any sort of professional help. In the UK, 1% of women give birth without help, and I'm sure that is a problem that they are desperate to fix.

Because in India, a woman died on the road in front of the land where I will one day live, trying to walk to the city that is an hour away by car, so that she could give birth.

Here's a fact that boggles my mind- in the UK there are 749,000 births a year and 26,825 midwives. That is 1 midwife for every 28 births. I don't know if that figure includes OB/GYNs, but I would think that those wouldn't be included, meaning there are even more professionals per birth. In Rwanda, on the other hand, there are 400,000 births a year and there are 40 midwives. In the entire country. That is 1 midwife for every 10,000 births.

Could you let that sink in for a moment.

By the way- most of these facts are coming from this BBC article.

Worldwide, about 1000 women die every day giving birth.

In India, the infant mortality rate is 52 deaths for every 1000 births. 254 women die for every 100,000 births. 

I am not ok with that. I hope that you are not ok with that. This makes me mad.

I am not ok with women dying all around the world from childbirth.

And it makes me mad when we start talking about how bad the US health care is because our infant mortality is 6 for every 1000 births. Obviously, that is not good, but we need to see the rest of the world.

This world is broken, but we can help make it less broken.

We know things about how our bodies work that women living in remote villages in Afghanistan, India and Rwanda have no way of knowing.

We have access to education and health care that these women couldn't even dream of.

So what are we going to do with it?

I don't know what all this means for you. I don't know what all this means for me. I desperately want to be in India. Adding this schooling could add 3 more years onto my time here. Could I wait 5 years?

I'm sitting in my bed and just looked up at a picture of sweet Heena and thought, can I wait 5 years to be with you? 2 is hard enough.

And so I'm thinking through all this. I will be praying through it. Is this really what God wants for me?

I'm asking that you think through this with me. All my friends out there in the nursing school/ heading to med school, could this be where God wants you to serve?

We need people in health care here, but I think we can safely say that they need them more.

Will you think about this with me?

And also- this is totally part of orphan care also. how many of those 1,000 women that died today in childbirth do you think had 1, 2, or 3 kids already at home. Who is going to care for them now?

Maybe we can stop orphans from being made. Wouldn't that be amazing?!

I'm in India!!

Hi from India!!

I arrived in India this evening and have just been hanging out for a bit before going back to the airport to pick up my friends.

Let me tell you-- it is hot!! and humid! As soon as I stepped out of the airport I started sweating. But whatever!! I'm so happy to be back here it doesn't even matter!


I wanted to let you all know that on Tuesday at 7 there is going to be an Orphan Care meeting at Summit. I'm sure if you were at Summit this weekend, you heard about it, especially with Dr. Moore there (can't wait for that podcast). But I wanted to mention it because they are going to be sharing some ways for people besides those adopting to be involved, specifically, how you can be involved with the work that I am now doing and the orphanage that I work with.

Everyone in the area should go, because it the responsibility of every believer to care for the orphaned and the fatherless, not just those who can foster or adopt. The Bible is extremely clear about this. No excuses. "whatever you did to the least of these my brothers, you did unto me."

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Today is the day when we celebrate the amazing moms  in our lives.

Thank you to all the moms out there who give of themselves everyday for their children. These women give up their own dreams of their careers and their own plans to pour their lives into the little ones that have been entrusted to them. Thank you for being an example to me and girls like me who can watch how you love and teach your children to love and worship God. Thank you for letting me be a part of your kids lives. For entrusting me with their precious lives and letting me invest in their lives. Your families are a constant blessing to me.

Thank you to my mom. You are amazing! The best mom I could ever ask for. Your love and support means the world to me. I wouldn't be who I am today without your guidance.


But while we are celebrating the women who bless our lives daily, I can't help but think of the children all around the world tonight who don't have the love and care given by a mother. There are millions of children around the world tonight who have never known what it means to be loved and cared for by the woman who gave them life. They are alone in this world without the one person who is supposed to protect them.

Remember these children tonight. Those who have watched their mother's life slowly be taken from her by disease. Those children who are now taking on the role of mother for their younger siblings because someone has to feed them. The children who watched their mother leave, some hoping to find a way to care for them and some just leaving.

I ask as you thank God for your mother, that you will pray for God's protection over these children tonight. Pray that God will be the comfort that they now lack and provide all their needs.

I think of the 25 Indian children who will one day live in my home. In my mind, they are always girls. I think about where they are right now. If they are alive yet, if they are orphaned yet. It breaks my heart to think of them already in danger and in pain and I have no way to do anything for them except pray. And so I do. I beg God to protect them, to care for them until He allows me to love them and hold them myself.

While you are celebrating and loving your mom extra today, take a second and say a prayer for the children who have lost their moms. They need to know that they are not all alone in this world. The God of the universe loves and cares for them more than any earthly mother could possibly imagine.

I want to add something else to. Another group of people, of women, to remember and pray for everyday but today in particular- women who's babies (young and grown up) are no longer here with them but are dancing with Jesus right now.

I can't even begin to imagine the pain that these women must be feeling today.

I know that there are a lot of women who today can be painful for, but can we all just take a second and pray for these moms in particular.

The women who know in their hearts that they are mothers, but have no earthly reminder, no child to love and care for everyday. No one to track mud in on the carpet or color on the walls, just a aching heart, a reminder of what they have lost.

In this past year, our church family has experienced this pain several times. In the past few months, two women I know well lost their babies in miscarriages. Last summer, one of our pastors' wife delivered their baby several months early. He lived for a day and then went to be with Jesus. During that same time, my roommates older brother was killed in a terrorist attack in Uganda. My heart breaks for these women that I know and love, and I know that they are not alone in this pain. There are countless other women at the church who have experienced this loss and are reminded of it on this day.

Please take a minute with me and pray for these mothers. Pray for comfort and peace for their hearts and souls. Pray for a renewed hope in their hearts that they will see their children again. They will worship at the feet of their savior with the babies that they never got a chance to know or the child that they lost way too soon.

Pray for them.

A memory from India

It broke my heart.

It was the second day of VBS.

We knew better what we were doing and how the day would go. We were hoping that it would be smoother, transitions would go better.

I wasn't expecting to hear what I did that day.

I was the teacher in the group, so I began the Bible story, about how Jesus fed the 5000 with 5 loaves and 2 fish.

And then I asked the question.

I asked them to share something that God had done to provide for them.

I asked ORPHANS, in India. Children who had been abandoned, abused, neglected, were once starving and completely rejected by the world.

I asked them something that God had provided in their lives.

I honestly don't know what I expected the answer to be, but their answer stills echoes in my mind and my heart.

After a little prodding from my translator, one girl stood up, I don't remember which one.

She stood up and said that God had brought her to this home, where she learned about Him.

I'm tearing up just thinking about what she said.

Several other children said the same thing throughout the day and the different groups.

"God brought me here. And because I am here, I learned about Him. Because I am here, I know Him."

Do you understand what they were saying to me?

They were thankful that they were living in an orphanage, because it provided a way for them to hear the gospel.

They were thankful for all the pain and hurt in their lives, because now they know the love of God.

They can see that the pain of loosing earthly parents led to them to knowing the love of their heavenly Father who will never leave them or forsake them.

They know that though their lives are hard, they have hope because of Christ.


This is why I love orphanages.

Because through this one orphanage over a 1000 children will one day know the love of their Father!! More than 1000!! Because they will keep coming!!

Because through this orphanage, these children have learned that though they do not have the kind of family that we do, that we say they are supposed to, they have a better family. They have a heavenly family. They have siblings and friends and workers and a whole bunch of American college students who miss them and love them so very much and most of all, they have a GOD who loves and cares for them.

A FATHER who wants the very best for them and will see that all things work for their good.

And you know what else, because of this orphanage, they aren't going to keep this message to themselves.

Because they know that God is the only one that they can truly rely on, the only one who can truly save them, they are going to tell EVERYONE.

India will be different because of God's work through this orphanage.

If not just adoption, than what?

If you haven't read my post about my adoption dilemma, go read it here first. In this post, I talked about my thoughts on adoption and that we really need to be thinking beyond just adoption when it comes to orphan care. So I want to give you some suggestions about ways for us to be involved beyond adoption.


1. PRAY!

I know that this is hard. We want to be directly involved, feeling like we are doing something to help the situation. We want to be the one holding a child's hand.

But I really believe and have seen that prayer is the only thing that will make a real, long-term difference. Prayer should be the basis for everything that we do. Ask God where He wants you to be involved and ask Him to care for the children in the world.

We can only do so much, but God can do everything if we just ask.

Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God.

2. If you can, adopt or foster a child.

There are hundreds of children right here in the Triangle that need foster parents. These kids are being neglected and abused in some cases, maybe you are the one that God wants to use to give a child right here in Durham or Chapel Hill or Raleigh a chance to be loved and hear the Gospel. If you can provide them a home, pray about it and see if that is something that God might want you to do. If you are not in a place to do that, I am not, support those that are. Babysit for them or just go and play with the kids and let mom have a break! Buy t-shirts and coffee and chick-fil-a from those who are adopting. I really do think that these are wonderful ways that we can be involved in changing the world for a child.

3. Sponsor a child.

There are countless organizations that you can go through to sponsor a child, both here in the States and around the world. Of course, do your research, ask around, and make sure that the organization that you choose to go through is a good organization that will actually get your money to the children that need it.

Don't want to spend a lot of time doing research? Here's a great organization that needs lots more sponsors and will continue to need more. And I know that they are wonderful because I have been there!!

4. Help fundraise for an organization, orphanage or adopting family

I don't mean to keep talking only about my favorite orphanage, but, oh well haha. Crosspoint has had to turn away so many children over the past year as they wait for the money to expand their facilities.

Here's the deal, in order for an orphanage to take good care of their children, it takes more resources than the bad ones that neglect their children. It takes more workers, more space, more food, more clothes, more tutors, more everything- and all of that, requires more money. Are you good at fundraising and coming up with ideas to inspire people to support work around the world? Good! That is a gift from God! I am not good at that stuff, I wish that I were. You can be huge in helping people all around the world raise the funds that they need to take care of the children that God wants to entrust to them.

Find an organization that you are passionate about and ask them how you can help. Chances are, they will not say no!!

5. GO

Everything changes when you meet the children that we are talking about. We can use statistics all day long and it will mean nothing. We are so immune to statistics. I say that there are 147 million orphans in the world, that does very little to us. I can say that there are 80 million children living in desolate conditions in India, 27 million of whom are orphans as well. That means nothing.

What changes it is when you know they're names.

Knowing that there are 27 million orphans in India breaks my heart because I don't hear a number, I see a face and I hear a name in my head. Those children are not just a statistic to me, they are Rani, Shivani, Jameson, Chaitan, Ruth, Ester, and I could go on and on.

Seeing their faces changes everything.

So, go. Find somewhere and go spend some time volunteering at an orphanage overseas. Go downtown and find someway to volunteer with the foster kids. Go volunteer at the local YMCA or work with groups like CEF that minister to inner-city kids. Go to India. Here's the website for the Christmas team that will be going Christmas 2011. It will be the best Christmas of your life so far- no lie. There are also a lot of other trips that Crossroads take throughout the year, check those out. Pray about it and go!

Just go.

I believe that doing these things and anything else that God leads you to do to serve the orphans of the world will change your life. God will use these experiences to change the way you see the orphan crisis and the way that you see yourself being involved in orphan care.

Caring for orphans is not for some special class of Christians. Its not just for those who are called to adopt or those who are called to go live on the other side of the world. It is for every single one of us.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after the orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27

My adoption dilemma

Adoption is something that I think about a lot. No, I'm not adopting, obviously, but I do love adoption and love hearing stories of adoption and supporting people who are adopting.

But, I have a dilemma when it comes to adoption. I have begun to notice some things that don't sit right with me and my experiences working at an orphanage have also changed some of my ideas about adoption.

This is me trying to sort through these different things. Maybe you have thought about it and have some thoughts to share, maybe not. Maybe you have never thought about adoption or orphans at all, maybe this will change that.

I hope that I don't come across as judgmental. If you are adopting, than I am so happy for you. You are following God's call on your life and doing what you can to live out the command to care for the fatherless that is given in the Bible.

That said, we have to be thinking about ways beyond adoption to care for orphans.

Adoption is not going to save the world.
Adoption is not going to solve the orphan crisis.
Adoption will not even necessarily save the child that is adopted.

This is my main concern that I get from reading that adoption blogs that I do (I know, I'm a creeper). I hope that more adoptions continue to happen, but adoption is not the only way to care for orphans and it is not going to be the solution to the problem. Not enough people want to adopt and there are so many children in the world who can't be adopted, even if someone did want to adopt them. This is for a variety of reasons. Not all of the children in the 147 million orphans figure are actual orphans, many still have parents or family that for some reason are not able to care for them. Many of these children are older than most want to adopt, not all orphans are babies or even young children, teenagers are orphans too, how often do you hear of teenagers being adopted? (Sidenote, a couple at my church just adopted two teenagers from the Ukraine- so awesome! pray for them with me please!) Finally, not all countries are open to international adoption.

Adoption is not going to happen for many of these children, so are they just completely out of luck? Is there nothing that we can do for them?

I'm not going to lie, reading these blogs, I get frustrated with the way that adoption is often presented as the only way to help orphans, the end all be all solution to the orphan crisis. These irritates me for a number of reasons. I'm 20 years old and single, I am not about to adopt a child. So where do I fit in in caring for orphans? There really isn't a place for me if adoption is the only option, and yet this is what God has called me to do in my life, so there has to be a place for me in it, right? Also, like I was saying, there are so many children that are not going to be adopted and if adoption is our only solution, then they are completely left out in the cold.

There are so many other ways that we can be involved. There are so many different organizations that need sponsors for children. The orphanage that I work with needs sponsors, there are so many smaller feeding and education programs that need support and help so that children can be fed and educated. 30,000 children will die today from malnutrition and related diseases! These children are not all orphans, but they are all children who we can care for and love. Children are going through their lives without ever going to school, what is their life going to be like?

Another thing that just doesn't sit right with me is the language that is used to talk about these children. They are put into categories: adoptable, unadoptable, and WAITING. I can't tell you how much I hate hearing children described as waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting for what? And when do they get to stop waiting? If a child is "waiting" at 4 years old, is he still waiting when he's 15 and still hasn't been adopted? These are all just children, whether they are adoptable or not, they are just children who have been through so much pain and they just need someone to love them.

Finally, adoption creates a dependence. While we are trying to create a culture of adoption here in the States, what will that do in the other countries from where the children are being adopted? My roommate spent 6 months living and working at orphanages in Uganda before our freshman year. She has told me many things about her time there that I fascinates me, but one thing that has stuck with me is a conversation that she had about adoption. Her aunt and uncle live in Uganda and she was talking with them about adoption and they said that they didn't actually really like adoption, because it makes child abandonment ok. If people see that Americans are coming and taking care of the orphans, then they will be more likely to abandon their own children when times get hard and they can't care for them. Also, by adopting all these children, are we stepping on the toes of the local Church? Doing the job that they should be doing in taking care of their children for them?

But here's the dilemma, don't those children deserve families though?

Don't all these kids need moms and dads who will love them and care for them?
People to tuck them in at night and hold them when they are scared?

I don't have an answer. All my thoughts on this are so contradictory. I love orphanages, but I also do really believe that children need families and mainly, parents who will love them.

I rest in the fact that I do not have to decide this. It's not like it has to be one thing or the other, either everyone adopts or no one adopts. I feel called to work at an orphanage, some feel called to adopt- we all must just follow what God is telling us each to do and trust that He knows what He is doing.

But I will continue to share my thoughts on adoption. I feel like I have a unique viewpoint on it, having seen what a God-centered orphanage can look like and I am going to share what I have experienced. I want people to know that there are ways besides adoption that we can all be involved in orphan care. There are ways that a single, college or high school student can love a child and make a difference in their life, even if I can't bring them to my home. I want you all to be aware of the ways that we can all be a part of this ministry, because we are all supposed to be involved. James 1:27 does not just call out married couples looking to adopt, it says that it is the duty of every believer to care for the fatherless.

Finally, I rest in the knowledge of Psalm 68:6- "God sets the lonely in families"

Those families will not necessary look like ours. They might be an orphanage or a church family or maybe a dad, mom, siblings and a dog. Who knows? Only God.

One more thing- can we please stop calling them "waiting" children?? k, thanks!!


Much love!!

Read on here for ideas besides adoption. I will continue to share ideas as I come up with them.