When everything feels futile

I'm sitting in my room trying to figure out what I should be doing. I know there are a lot of things that I could do, but I don't really want to. I could start studying for my next exams... Nah!

So, what do I do when I have nothing else to do? I read blogs of course!

I love going through the old blogs that people write, especially people that I don't know. I follow the blogs of some really incredible women and one of my absolute favorites is about a family that lives in Haiti right now. Check it out here, its great!

Anyway, I was just reading some of her old posts, and I came across this paragraph and seriously got chill bumps! 

 "And then I remembered Jenn and Justus...and how God is God all the time and Justus can't talk, and has to use sign language and there was Jenn, a stay at home mom, with a degree in deaf education, not using it, until Justus came along. Talk about God ordaining every single day of our lives? I'm sure Jenn had no idea she was sitting at Baylor learning to say things with her long pretty fingers because one day her son would desperately need those hands. But God knew. He always knows."

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. 

Make that a lot of times I wonder what I am doing here. 

Sometimes my classes seem completely futile. What am I learning that is actually going to help me in life? 

Sitting in Geology class wondering when I will ever need to know these things. Or in my North American landscapes class thinking, yah this is good and interesting, but I'm going to be teaching in India. I doubt that I'll be teaching them all about the different regions of the United States. 

Even as I look forward to my education classes, I wonder if they will end up frustrating me too sometimes. 

We had a meeting with one of the professors a few days ago and she was telling us about what we will be learning. And some of it sounds so exciting! 

We are going to be doing a lot of work with ESL kids and learning how to teach ESL kids, which excites me because I need to learn how to teach English. I'm sure that it is going to be taught with the assumption that we will be teaching Spanish-speaking kids English, but that is ok! 

But than there are other things that I just don't see how they will transfer over. Like a class specifically about using technology in the classroom. Technology is great, but I doubt that my classroom will have a SmartBoard in it. If we did get the money to buy a smartboard, I wouldn't want it. Do you know how long we could feed a kid with the money that it would cost for a smartboard? 

But God is God. 

God knows the things that I am learning now and He knows how He is going to use it one day. He knows exactly the things that I will need that I can't even imagine. 

He put me at a school where I could be learning Hindi instead of Spanish. Gave me the opportunity to take an entire class focused on South Asia and their history and current events. So that I could learn things like the states in India, because that is what I will be teaching my kids. 

So who knows what God has in store for me. I don't, but He does. Maybe He is going to send a child in India to me who is fascinated with the earth and I will be able to teach him some of the things that I learned in Geol 101. Who know! 

So if you're like me and sit in class wondering how this is ever going to be relevant to your life. Maybe you're forcing facts into your head right now, cramming for exams and just can't think of a good enough reason to motivate you to keep on going, God has a reason for you to be learning what you are right now. He is going to use it. 

And so I will study. I will try to study without complaining. I will learn the things that are available here for me to learn and I will try to be diligent about my work. Because what I'm learning might feel pointless, it might seem like I will never in my life use it, but God may have other plans.